David Hurst

I fancied a Burger King for lunch today. After ordering myself a rather tasty Meat Beast Whopper, I headed to the upstairs seating in BK Yeovil, to sit and enjoy my lunch with a magazine. The mess was unbelievable. There were empty food wrappers everywhere. I had to clean my table before I could sit down, and there was even a pile of rubbish at my feet.

I don’t think this should necessarily reflect badly on BK Yeovil - they did send someone up to clean it up - rather, I think it has more to do with ignorant, arrogant, retards who believe it’s perfectly acceptable to leave your crap all over the place for someone else to pick up. Burger King, and indeed all such eateries, are not full service restaurants. There is no table service, and that is partly why the food is cheap.

Leaving your rubbish behind is not just about the staff that have to clean up after you either, it’s about the next people that have to use the table. If I can go to these places with two children and leave the table as clean and tidy as I found it, then so can everybody else. Stop being so lazy. Clean up your own mess. Become a decent and civilised member of human society. Even animals can clear up their own waste. You are a human being, aren’t you?

Every ad break on every show I watch on TV, one of these car insurance websites is telling me that I can save money on my insurance bills with them. They all claim to be cheaper than each other, so you could be forgiven for expecting to actually get cheap insurance premiums right?

I had to arrange insurance for the new family roadster, a Fiat Grande Punto. It’s only a 1.3 diesel, so I’m not really expecting to have to pay top dollar. My experience over the years has always been that it is cheapest to buy your car insurance from Direct Line, and yet still, each time I need some, I feel the need to shop around. Every time I do, I usually end up back where I started with Direct Line. Anyway, I thought I’d get a few quotes for the Punto, the question is: where do I start?

Well, I decided not to bother with Norwich Union. I called them a couple of years ago for a quote on my Fiat Coupe and was given a figure of £1,600. I now understand the “Quote Me Happy” slogan: they quote you, you fall about laughing, and then you phone someone else. In this case I phoned Direct Line and insured my coop for £350. So, I narrowed my list down to three places this time:

1. Confused.com - because I hate their TV commercials so much. I don’t believe they can save money and I wanted to verify this.
2. Tesco - my business partner Tom is convinced they are the cheapest.
3. Direct Line - because they are bound to be cheaper than the above.

So, confused.com - not an actual insurer, but one of the new scourge of Internet price comparison websites that are systematically re-channelling profits away from the actual provider into the pockets of a middle man. I’m convinced this is ultimately bad for the consumer, as it will result in inevitable price increases. If the insurance company has to pay a cut to confused.com, then you are not getting the best price, and the provider is not getting the best margin. Anyway, after inputting all the details (and there are a lot of details to be entered), I got a list of insurance quotes in order of cheapest. The top entry was some budget outfit that I had never heard of, that had a huge excess and no windscreen cover. There’s no way I would take such a useless policy - the chances of a smooth payout if you ever needed one are slimmer than Beckham’s missus. Anyway the amazing price was £228. Bearing in mind I pay £330 for a group 19 performance car, this seemed excessive.

Next up, Tesco. I have noticed that Tesco’s insurance paperwork and quoting engine are identical to Direct Line’s. Does this mean Tesco car insurance is actually Direct Line? I don’t know, but, they were cheaper at £198. They also offered me a “Value” policy, so called because it has no value, just like the rest of Tesco’s “Value” range. Not for me thanks.

And finally, Direct Line, who came in at £152. Thanks very much. I’ll take two.

In fact, as my Coupe was already insured with Direct Line, I just adjusted my existing policy. I got a refund and they covered the Coupe for another 2 weeks free of charge to give me time to sell it.

So, if you’re looking for insurance, I reckon you are much better off going direct to the insurers, rather than helping fund Confused.com’s directors’ new fleet of Ferraris, which will probably be insured with Direct Line, because they’re cheapest.

My wife has been fully supportive of my motorcycling from day one - she’s great like that. She didn’t bite my head off when I spent £2,500 of our savings on a bike, and then was quite happy for me to spend another £1,200 on a second bike (provided I sold my car). I don’t believe she sits at home worrying whilst I am out riding, at least if she does, she doesn’t tell me. She rode for a couple of years herself, and she is confident in my ability. We used to go two-up on her scooter. And she has been very much looking forward to riding pillion. However, such riding opportunities are rare due to our having two young sons.

Now that we have organised a baby sitter and are going for a ride this weekend (weather permitting), she suddenly started talking about making a will this morning and deciding who would have our kids if we snuffed it. This is perfectly sensible thinking, but I wonder if she would have been prompted to think about it if we were off in the car together this weekend?

The truth is, no matter how safe you think motorcycling is, there is always that nagging realisation in the back of your head to remind you that falling off is likely to hurt. A lot. Sometimes these doubts find their way into the front of your mind whilst riding, usually resulting in an immediate slackening of the right hand. Generally, however, when I’m riding I just enjoy myself.

I saw my grandad recently who is convinced that most motorcyclists are “tearaways” and that all vehicles should be limited to 70mph. There may be an element of truth in what he says, but it is certainly not true that most motorcyclist are “tearaways” and I don’t believe that riding over 70mph should define one as such. It’s all very well taking the 70mph is the limit of safety stance if you’re driving a Morris Minor, but on a modern sports bike, travelling at 70mph is well below the speed that the bike is designed to travel at safely. A bike can stop in far shorter distances than a car, and can safely travel at high speed too. Everything is relative though. Travelling at 120mph on a bike that can only do 125mph is not likely to be safe by virtue of the fact that you are travelling at the limits of the machine’s capability. Travelling at 120mph on a bike that can see north of 180mph, would be well within the limits of the bike’s capability.

The biggest problem at high speed is not usually the machine, it’s the reaction time of the rider. In fact, being branded as a “tearaway” has everything to do with rider skill and judgement, and nothing to do with an arbitrary speed limit. On a long straight dual carriageway, when no-one else is around, riding at higher speeds is not likely to result in imediate death.

The motorcycle is a design over 100 years old, and it works by virtue of its simple science. The wheels act as gyroscopes and provide the bike with complete stability. In normal riding, this perfect balance can only be broken by a loss of grip with the road. The bike does not need a rider to balance it. You see riders come off in Moto GP all the time, and the bike often keeps going straight on. Further stability is added by the gyroscopic action of the engine.

There is the possibility of mechanical failure resulting in rear wheel locking. A chain that breaks, or failed wheel bearings could cause some very scary moments. My GSX is having a full service at the moment, and my SV has just had one, and a new tyre, and it’s going for new chain and sprockets next week. I have always looked after my machinery, and if you don’t skimp on the essential maintenance, and do your safety checks before you ride every time, then you have nothing to fear. How many car drivers, perform a quick safety check before they set out? I always scan my tyres and check my brakes before each ride. The chain needs to be checked once per week, and the lights. I take this opportunity to crawl around the bike checking everything.

The real dangers to a motorcyclist’s life then are road surface and other road users. The speed travelled at only becomes an issue if it is far in excess of all other road users, or too fast for the road conditions. I certainly do not subscribe to the ridiculous government mantra: “speed kills”. Speed does not kill anybody - it’s coming to a sudden halt that does the damage.

I feel safe on the roads. I remain visible to other road users and I keep a protective “bubble” of space around me when I ride. When this bubble is invaded by others, I take action to restore it. I’ve done almost 4,000 miles of motorcycling this year and I haven’t had any really dangerous moments. There have been 3 occasions when I have had to take emergency action. The first was my own fault, I completely misjudged a bend and lost faith in the bike’s ability to get round corners. I managed to pull up safely and was mildly shaken, but the truth is that had I leaned it over more and given it some throttle, I would have flown around with no problems. The second was an emergency stop on a main road. The idiot in front of me almost missed his turnoff and stood on his brakes very suddenly. I skidded momentarily but kept it in control. The third occasion was a stupid woman with a dog on one of those extending leashes that should be banned. The dog ran out into the road on a housing estate to bark at me and my bike. I stopped dead in virtually no distance, proving the safety of motorcycle brakes, and resisted the urge to deliver a firm kick to the little terrier’s nose. The woman didn’t even apologise. Anyway, 3 moments when I needed to focus and deal with a situation. That’s about the same number I would expect over the same distance in a car.

I think the real problem here is that most of the people spouting off about the “dangers” of motorcycling are people who have never ridden a bike, and probably can’t drive a car that well either. It’s not until you ride for yourself on a quality machine that you realise how safe it actually is. Those that do lose their lives whilst motorcycling, are either really unlucky or have failed to exercise sound judgment when riding their machine.

When riding a motorcycle you are closer to the machine, and the elements, so you are far more conscious of your state of safety. Most car drivers are completely oblivious - cocooned in a metal shell, singing along to their favourite tunes or talking on their mobile. Who is more dangerous?

As I was strolling through Yeovil town centre today, on my way for a lunchtime sandwich, I was stopped in my tracks. The old lady in front of me had stooped to pick up a penny on the floor, quoting some olde rhyme as she did: “find a penny pick it up, all day long have good luck”.

Notwithstanding that a small piece of metal, pressed into a circular shape with an image of our sovereign on it, has scant influence over the space time continuum, and is, I suspect, completely lacking in any ability to deliver on the luck bounty promised in the rhyme, I thought it was rather sweet. Then my cynical side kicked in and I started wondering where such a rhyme might have originated.

Perhaps it was from a time when finding a penny would open up whole worlds of spending opportunity, that would literally bring rays of proverbial sunshine into any down-at-heel street urchin’s day. Or maybe it’s just that voicing a sweet little rhyme conceals the obvious truth that you are in fact bending over in a busy high street to grasp at a single dirty penny on the floor, like some sort of pecuniarily challenged scab.

I think I’m far too cynical these days.

The sad day has arrived, and I must sell my beloved Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo. Get in on the action at: www.fiatcoupe4sale.com.

I might cry.