So, I figured I would just dismantle the iPod HiFi and push the middle of the cone back out from behind. In fact, if I had thought about it for any amount of time I would have realised this is not possible as the center of the cone connects directly to the magnet, preventing any rear access. This is pretty much the case with all speakers, but I wasn’t focusing properly, and having decided to open the damn thing and got my toolbox out, then it was coming apart and that’s that.

As it turns out, opening up an iPod HiFi is not a simple task. I spent ages looking at it from every angle trying to figure out where the screws are. I eventually decided they must be under the rubber foot on the base of the unit, but after prising part of it off (it’s glued on), and seeing no screws I gave up on that notion. It took some extensive Googling, but I eventually found a Swedish website with a couple of photos that pointed me in the right direction.

So, here are my instructions. If you are suffering the depressed centre speaker malady like myself, please don’t go to the trouble of dismantling your iPod HiFi - it won’t get you anywhere.

Instructions to dismantle or open an iPod HiFi

WARNING: The plastic box of the iPod HiFi is soft and easily damaged. Dismantling your iPod HiFi using these instructions WILL leave marks on the white plastic. You have been warned, and I am not responsible if you cock it up.

• You will need a couple of thin edged flat tip screwdrivers - the wider the end, the better. It may work better with a strong and thin putty knife.
• Take the fabric cover off the front of the iPod HiFi.
• Take a look at the black front - you will see that it doesn’t sit perfectly flush with the white box. In fact this is just a veneer that is glued to the front of the iPod HiFi. It’s a piece of metal about 2mm thick and it hides all the screws and fixings.
• The join line is just beyond where the black edge meets the white box. It may be possible to prise this cover off from the edges around the speaker cones, but I was too scared of damaging a speaker to try this.
• You need to work your screwdriver or knife between the white outer box and the black speaker workings. Again, this WILL leave marks on the box - the plastic is soft - it would be a good idea to work on the bottom edge of the unit. The fabric cover will hide the marks.
• Once you have worked the screwdriver in a couple of milimetres, you need to lever case out a bit. Whilst you are doing this, you should be able to see the join line where the veneer is stuck on. Slide your screwdriver back towards this line and start prising it up.
• Use a second screwdriver or knife to widen the gap. Work along the edge a few inches until you can start pulling with your fingers. The metal will bend a little, but the glue is strong enough to stick back down afterwards. Still, it would be sensible to bend it as little as possible.
• Once you have completely prised off the veneer, you will be presented with a number of screws which hold the iPod HiFi together.
• Fix / play / experiment at your leisure.
• When the time comes to close it back up, you just stick the veneer back on and apply firm pressure all over the surface to ensure it’s stuck properly.

Kudos to Apple for designing such a good looking and great sounding speaker unit. However, they have singularly failed to accommodate their customers or provide any kind of lasting support for the iPod HiFi. It has been discontinued, and there are very few spares or service options available. You can get new battery covers, fabric fronts, or clip-in iPod mounts, but that’s it. If your speakers die, you’ve had it.

Fair enough to discontinue a product, but to also eliminate all service options on a unit that is clearly very difficult to open without damaging it, is just poor. They could at least describe the dismantling process on their website so that third parties can offer service options.

I use Apple computers and have done for many years, and I always recommend that Windows users switch. I’m not one of those Apple devotees that think they can’t do any wrong though. They’re famous for this closed box - no support nonsense. It really is pathetic given how much you pay for their kit. Their laptops are getting harder and harder to service (try upgrading a hard disk on a Macbook Pro yourself), and this is the wrong direction to head in.

Anyway, I hope these instructions help somebody get their iPod HiFi working again.

Oh, and if you have a young son who has just dented the middle of your speaker cone, the solution lies in the humble household vacuum cleaner. Suck. Pop. Simple. It’s so frustrating that I now have little marks on my iPod HiFi yet I never even needed to open it.

Except this isn’t much of a solution, because I now can no longer work my way through the morning hunger pangs when I know that I have a packet of my wife’s delicious cheese, ham and coleslaw sandwiches in my bag. It’s half ten on a Monday, and the sandwiches have just bought it, and now I will have naff all at lunchtime, and will no doubt be wasting away by mid-afternoon. In the words of James May, esteemed motoring journalist: “cock!”

Is the BBC really that short on technology news that they have to publish these illfounded speculations? The computer mouse may be old, but that doesn’t mean the principle needs to be superseded. The wheel is pretty old too you know…

These muppets spend 5 minutes prancing about in front of a Nintendo Wii and think they have seen the future of all computing. The Wii is a games system. Anyone who has tried to used the Wii controller to browse the Internet will tell you that a mouse is far superior. The mouse is also the very best way to play first person 3D shooter games.

Apart from the obvious problems with touchscreen (filth on the screen, aching arms etc.) and gesture systems (lacking in precision, unreliable, and you look like a prat using them), do these people really think that businesses will spend vast sums of money changing their existing hardware over to these new systems that their staff won’t know how to use?

So, no the mouse is not dead, nor will it be in 2 - 5 years. Just like my Fiat won’t be taking to the skies and R2D2 won’t be popping around to do my washing up.

Here’s a classic scenario from today’s McLunchtime sojourn:

McServer: Who’s next?
Me: Hi! Can I have a medium Big Mac meal with a coke please?
McServer: Do you want fries with that?
Me: Yes, a meal please.
McServer: Is that a large meal?
Me: No, just a medium please.
McServer: What drink?
Me: Er, Coke please…
McServer: Anything else?
Me: Yes, a cheeseburger on its own please.
McServer: A piece of cheese?
Me: Sorry?
McServer: We don’t do just cheese on its own.
Me: No, I wanted a cheeseburger on its own.
McServer: Do you want a meal?
Me: No, just on its own.
McServer: Eat in or take away?
Me: Eat in please.
McServer: That’ll be £[however much it was - I can’t remember]
Me: [Handing over my debit card]
McServer: We don’t take cards.
Me: You have a sign on the door saying you do and [gesturing to the row of chip and pin card readers] you have the machines.
McServer: Mine is broken.
Me: Are all the tills broken?
McServer: No just my machine - it’s been taken off [points to the empty bracket in front of the till]
Me: Right. Let’s do it on another till then.
McServer: Can you pay in cash?
Me: No, I always use my debit card when I come here so I didn’t think to take any out.
McServer: Oh. [sighs] Hang on a minute.
[Various staff members faff about until a machine is plugged in and my payment is taken]
McServer: Enter your pin.
Me: [types pin]
McServer: [heads off to collect food and places on the counter without a tray] - We haven’t got no trays, do you want a bag? Oh, hang on, there are some here. There you go.
Me: Could I have some barbecue sauce please?
McServer: [huffs and dumps a couple of pots on my tray]

She completely failed to listen to my order - she just followed the script like the McRobot she is. She must be totally reliant on the till to tell her what she’s just tapped in, because it’s pretty clear my order sails straight out of her consciousness as soon as her fingers leave the till buttons. My order was right today, but it’s astonishing how many times they get it wrong, despite all the items being listed right in front of their eyes.

The minute she encountered a problem she was completely stuck and clearly didn’t want to do anything out of the ordinary. At no point did any form of common sense kick in. I think she would have much preferred it if I had walked out the door instead of insisting that I pay for my goods with my fancy high-tech, ultra-modern debit card. It’s not like people have been using debit cards to pay for stuff for over a decade in this country is it? Ludicrous!

There was nothing even approaching courteousness in our exchange and I left with the feeling that I’d somehow been a genuine nuisance. She even said “sorry about that” to the next people in line whilst nodding in my direction, like it was somehow my fault that she’d been labotomised at birth. Perhaps I snook into McDonalds this morning just to knacker her card reader up and spoil her day. Here’s a crazy thought: if the till was broken, why not point that out at the start of the order, so we didn’t have to waste a load of time? - I could have moved on to the next server. Either that, or one of the plethora of unused tills with functional card readers could have been put into service rather than the broken one.

Do McDonalds have a policy of systematically removing all human traits from their employees? Would it be such a bad thing to allow free-thought and initiative into the work place?

If you’re reading this and you don’t agree with me, then I challenge you to go and order an apple pie with ice cream at your local McDonalds. This combination used to be on the menu - it’s basically the apple pie, which they still serve, with ice cream, which they also still serve, on a polystyrene tray, which they still have, but as it’s not on the McMenu, the confused McEmployee will get all flustered and then tell you they don’t do apple pie with ice cream. As you stand there calmly pointing out the pile of polystyrene trays they use for breakfast orders, the stack of steaming hot apple pies, and the ice cream machine, you can see the cogs beginning to whirr in the McBrain. Normal rational thinking starts to prevail: ‘of course, the solution to the problem is simple…’, the McEmployee thinks to himself, but then, crash! Free thinking hits the proverbial brick wall for the mighty McDonalds till lacks a dedicated button for apple pie with ice cream. “I can’t put it through the till”, they will say. And so, summoning the patience of a monk, you ask the McEmployee to press the McButton for apple pie, followed by the McButton for ice cream, and charge you for both. “But, what about the cone for the ice cream?”. If you are not banging your head helplessly on the counter by this stage, then you are a stronger person than I. Suffice it to say, I no longer have McDessert with my McMeal.

Little wonder then that people aren’t exactly queueing up for McJobs. Judging by the way I got treated today, the McJob is viewed as a last resort, because all else failed and desperation to have enough cash for 10 Lambert & Butler eventually overrides the McApplicant’s fear of being spotted serving Happy Meals by one of their mates. It shouldn’t be this way. McDonalds food is tasty and people love it - forget the health stuff. Most people are quite happy to munch a Big Mac, whether they admit to it or not. (I used to work for a guy who posted anti-McDonalds propaganda on the company website and then sent us out to buy McLunch every day. You know who you are. Karl.) The McDonalds brand is fresh and modern, they support farming and do a lot of charity work. The company is global success story the like of which is rarely seen. They offer good career progression (possibly not for the girl that served me today) and reasonable pay, so, why the embarrassment of working there? Because the situation gets worse and worse. Each time you get served by someone clearly lacking a McBrain, it reinforces the resolve of ordinary people to not want to work there lest they should be tarnished by association.

You know, if I was out of work and I had to put food on my table and keep a roof over my family, I wouldn’t hesitate to apply at McDonalds. I would get in early, treat every customer with respect (a sir or madam never goes amiss), work hard and focus on getting the job done right. Customers would be served quickly with hot (yes, hot) food and treated to a welcoming smile. With all the other McPlebs around me, I would stand out like a sore thumb and thus rise through the ranks with dizzying pace. Such aspirations seem to be lost on most of their staff though, and I am sick of being treated like dirt instead of the loyal customer that I am.

Will I take a stand and stop eating Big Macs? No, dammit. They taste too good. It’s the sauce you know…

Caveat

I have (occasionally) been served by some very professional and friendly people in McDonalds, and I am perhaps being a little unfair to many hardworking employees above. This is just my little website, with my own insignificant opinions on life the universe and everything, and I do like to have a rant now and again. It keeps me sane and I enjoy the literary outlet. So, if you are a McDonalds employee, and you do deliver outstanding service, please let me know which McDonalds you work at, so I can come to you instead to satisfy my McBurger craving.

And some more

It would be nice to get some sort of list together of the best and worst McDonalds, feel free to submit your nominations below by adding a comment. I’ll get it started by nominating Taunton Drive Thru, which gets my order wrong at least 50% of the time. There are a couple of friendly staff there - an older lady, and a switched on blonde haired girl, but it’s mostly poor. Food is rarely hot and the decor inside is utterly horrible. The car park serves as a congregating point for the local chavs and their weedy Saxo VTRs, where they sit with rubbish music blaring through low-fidelity speakers turned up so loud that you can almost see the paper-thin Citroen body panels shaking themselves apart. Despite there being plenty of bins laid on, these lazy oiks can’t be bothered to pull their arses out of their cheap foam seats and put their McRubbish in the appropriate place, so it just gets thrown around the car park. Needless to say, the local rat populous has become more numerous thanks to the White Lightning drinking, Burberry cap wearing, scallys that are drawn to the golden arches like flies to moist excrement.

I’ve been riding for about 2 months now, and have covered over 1,500 enjoyable (and safe) miles on my trusty SV650S. I think I have reached a reasonable level of competence and I have changed my mind a little on the safety of motorcycling. I don’t think it’s unsafe, and I don’t imediately assume that most motorcycle accidents happen because car drivers don’t see bikes. Now, before anyone shouts me down, I do realise that it is true that car drivers don’t always see bikes, but I put responsibility for my own safety in my own hands, not some anonymous car driver on the road with me. If I ride in a car driver’s blind spot, frankly, I deserve everything I get.

In fact, good defensive riding skills teach you to observe the road situation and make a solid judgement about what other drivers are likely to do. For instance, I don’t pull out on to a main road if it’s not completely clear and safe to do so. If I can’t see around a blind corner, I slow down and position myself for optimum visibility. If I see a car at a junction ahead joining my road, I slow down and make sure I get eye contact with the driver before speeding up again. I cover my horn button in such circumstances, and prepare for someone to do something stupid. When they do, I can easily remain safe. I follow the two second rule when behind traffic. I don’t overtake if there’s not enough space for a car to overtake. I wear reflective clothing and a visible helmet. In heavy traffic, I put on a high-vis vest. This has so far kept me in one piece

I believe the statistics back me up too. The majority of motorcycle accidents are had by males in the 19 - 24 age bracket, and around 85% of all bike accidents involve motorcyclists who have been riding for less than 2 years. If car drivers were the root of all accidents, the statistics would show a better spread. After all, if a car driver doesn’t see a bike, it doesn’t matter whether the rider has been qualified for 1 hour or 20 years. So what’s the difference? Why do only new riders get caught out by car drivers failing to spot them?

Simple: experience - experienced riders know how to ride defensively and safely, and as a result they recognise a situation where a car may potentially not see them, and then take appropriate defensive action.

The other key factor, unlike car accident statistics, is inappropriate speed. There are far too many complete idiots, giving the rest of us bikers a bad name. They ride too fast, too close to the traffic, filter / overtake when they shouldn’t, fly around blind corners with scant regard for what may be hidden beyond their vision and as such make themselves likely targets for accidents. Frankly, if you drove your car like that, you would be just as likely to have an accident. (Of course, you have a better chance of survival in a car accident.)

I know plenty of bikers. Most have never had an accident, and those that have acknowledge that they were riding in an unsafe manner.

So, is motorcycling dangerous? Well, that’s down to the personal choice of the rider. Ride safe folks. View every other road user as a potential cause of your death and adjust your riding accordingly. You’ll be just fine.

Liverpool’s loss is Portsmouth’s gain.

These things are BIG and I will probably look like a complete cock sat at my desk wearing a watch so large it has it’s own gravitional field. Small moons in the distant reaches of the galaxy are being pulled out of their orbit by my enormous watch. It is so big because it has an altimeter, barometer (including thermometer) and a compass. Sweet. Everything I could ever need to navigate from the office back to home.

On a serious note, as a newly qualified motorcyclist, I am fed up with checking the weather forecast, which is woefully inaccurate. A personal barometer is much better - it’s accurate to my local area and it’s up to the minute. That’s the excuse I gave to my wife for spending £129 anyway.

So, how is it? I couldn’t tell you. This “amazing” solar technology is supposed to eliminate the need to change the battery and break the water resistant seal. (I’m not sure I care that much about that - I’m not a diver and I won’t ever be more than a metre or two under the surface. I think it will survive.) The idea of saving money on replacement batteries was nice. The way the shop assistant described it to me, all I need do is wear the watch in daylight and it would have plenty of power. What a pile of crap!

I put the watch in direct sunlight all yesterday afternoon and evening. I left it under a bright lamp all night and I moved it into direct sunlight this morning for several more hours. The watch still has no power to do anything other than tell the time. I couldn’t tell you how accurate the compass is, because the watch can’t summon up enough juice to run it. I’d love to describe tales of happy weather dodging thanks to the barometer, but I can’t, because the watch doesn’t have the power to run it. I’d like to be able to tell you my relative altitude here in Somerset, but alas, no power equals no altimeter. After my lengthy charging session, the compass almost worked, and then the battery drained.

What about the other features of this watch? Well, there’s an alarm. Oh, and a back light that comes on automatically when you look at the watch in low light. Well, the manual says it does anyway, I wouldn’t know because the watch can’t power the backlight. It doesn’t work when you push the light button, and it doesn’t work when I flick my wrist in the dark.

I spent fully one hour trying to find the stopwatch and countdown timer. I followed the instructions in the manual, but it wouldn’t work. A little bit of detective work on the interweb revealed that I had in fact been given the wrong manual, and this watch does not have a stopwatch at all. The watch supposedly had loads of money knocked off, but even if the retail value is only £129, you expect a frigging stopwatch and countdown timer on your sports activity watch. What a joke! The shop assistant was showing me this watch side-by-side with the PRG40 and she said the features were identical. I knew the PRG40 had a stopwatch, so I naturally assumed the PRG50 would too.

Casio, what’s gone wrong with you? You used to make great watches, but this thing is useless. Apart from the ridiculous lack of chronograph, I would need to be an outdoor worker in the Australian Outback to get any kind of use from the advanced features of this watch.

If you must buy one of these Casio Pro Trek watches, don’t buy a solar powered one. The not changing the battery thing is a lie anyway. All rechargeable batteries have a finite life of charge cycles (usually around 500 full charges from empty), so, assuming you could ever get any of the functions to work, you will be changing the battery at some point anyway. Probably within 3 years judging by what I’ve read on the forums. An ordinary battery should last 18 months - 3 years anyway, depending on how much you use the watch.

As for me, I’m going to get my money back.

UPDATE

Well I got my money back. The watch is faulty. Guess which part failed? The battery which “never needs replacing”, does in fact need to be replaced. The shop said they’d “never had a problem” with Casio watches before, so maybe they do work. Who knows? Who cares? Not me, because I’m not buying one.

I didn’t mention above that I had already purchased a PRG40 from another store which I had to take back - it had some debris stuck between the screen and the glass. They didn’t have a replacement, so I went elsewhere and was sold the PRG50 instead.

So, two watches from Casio, and both had problems. Am I super unlucky or have Casio let their quality control slip?

I’m going to check out the Suunto Core instead. It’s more money, but what the hey, at least it runs on a (user replaceable) battery.

Increased RAM support
The new OS X will support RAM up to a theoretical limit of 16TB. Yes, 16TB! 64 Bit technology always promised leaps like this, and it’s good to see Apple finally implementing them. I can’t see why any user would ever want 16TB of RAM, but it’s nice to know you can.

Better multi-core support
OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard will have core components re-written to make better use of multi-core processors. In fact, the entire system will make use of the available processing power, which should show the end user real speed increases in daily usage.

Open CL
This new technology allows the computer to make use of unused power in the GPU of your graphics cards. GPUs have phenomenal computing power, hardly any of which is being used unless you are playing the latest game. This is a feature that developers will have to implement in their software, but if they do, it promises even better performance from existing technology.

Media and Internet
The new Mac OS X will include Quicktime X, the media technology used for iPhone, presumably also lighter in weight than the current Quicktime. In terms of Internet performance, Apple claim the new Safari will run Javascript 53% faster.

All of these changes amount to what borders on thriftiness from Apple, and frankly I think it’s great. I have an Amiga 1200, of mid-90s vintage. It has a ridiculously slow processor by today’s standards, virtually no RAM, no hard disk and just a low-density 720KB floppy drive. Despite this, the Amiga always had a rich array of games and software that wasn’t so far behind current technology as the figures might suggest. Developers just had to be space-conscious. Their games had to fit on tiny floppy disks, and be carefully optimised. The current trend is nothing like this. Hardware is so cheap, that the developers just demand that you upgrade your hardware to pay for their laziness in development. This is proved by looking at something simple like word processing. Can you type your letter any faster on the current version of Word than you could on the first version? No. And yet you have to have a computer significantly more powerful to run it.

So, I welcome this return to common sense. I’ve paid for two processor cores, I would like my computer to use both those cores at every available opportunity. If I’ve paid for a 200Gb hard disk, I don’t want to find huge portions of it consumed by a bloated operating system. Making existing technology faster through better written software, now that’s common sense computing. Microsoft can keep their touch screen nonsense - Apple are actually listening to what computer users really want.

There isn’t a raft of new features and innovations in this latest version of OS X, but Snow Leopard will include full support for Exchange 2007, and this is great news for people using Macs in a corporate environment with Windows servers. I’ve been waiting for this for ages. Entourage really is crap. I would much rather just use Mail, iCal and Address Book with my Exchange server. The only downside I can see, is that there is no mention of support for Exchange 2003, which is what most businesses will be using. Still, it is progress.

In the computing world of the future, Apple users will compute faster and more efficiently on their existing technology, whilst Windows 7 users wave their arms around in front of their expensive (and newly upgraded) touch screen, wondering why on earth they can’t just use a mouse like they always did.

Here’s the information on the Apple website: http://www.apple.com/macosx/snowleopard/?sr=hotnews

So why can I not fill my car today? Simple. I can’t buy any petrol because of all the morons who get panicky and go and fill their cars up when they don’t need to. Petrol panic buying was inevitable, as soon as the news stations started saying “if nobody panic buys, then we’ll be fine”. To the average dim-witted moronic UK driver this translates as: “fill up your car as fast as you can… and as many jerry cans as you can find too!”. Most of these pig-ignorant plebs don’t even use their cars. Driving past a petrol station in Taunton on Friday night, as the panic set in, there was a high percentage of older people filling up. The kind of people that use their unfeasibly shiny Fiesta (complete with tartan blanket on parcel shelf) to get to ASDA once per week. They can probably last a whole year on one tank of fuel, but thanks to their greed, I am immobilised.

I thought I was being a responsible citizen, showing due care and consideration for the welfare of others, but this is clearly a flawed perspective. Most people seem to be operating on a me first, me again second, and if there’s any left… that’ll be me please, policy, and there’s just no way to contend with that by doing the right thing.

So, I will wait patiently for the fuel trucks to arrive, then I shall fill up every vehicle I own, and a few gallons worth of fuel cans besides. By creating my own personal petroleum stock pile and generally sticking two fingers up at everyone else, regardless of their need, I too can join the ranks of inconsiderate warts on the anus of humanity, but at least I’ll be mobile.

And of course, the petrol retailers will cash in on this opportunity to fleece the motorist a bit more. Frankly, if a gnat farts somewhere in the vicinity of the petrol supply chain, we end up with another 2p on every litre. All around us, the green campaigners claim that our cars are destroying the planet, and that oil reserves are drying up. Utter nonsense. Cars are a small percentage of UK pollution, and there is plenty of oil left. Oil companies only have the ability to harvest a small percentage of the oil in the wells they discover - the vast majority of it remains.

The motorist in the UK is a soft target, and it’s easy to see why. The kind of people that panic buy petrol when they don’t need it, are either greedy or stupid (or both), and neither category is particularly likely to stand up and protest. Oil is an essential requirement for UK businesses and families, much like food. If there was a famine, would anyone tolerate paying more than 50% tax on their food? Hardly.

WAKE UP!