Category Archives: Personal

More tax please Darling…

I bet that’s just what everyone was thinking before the pre-budget report. I mean, it was only last year we had a hike in National Insurance, and now there’s a bit more to pay. Super. It’s not as if we pay much tax already is it…

It may only be a tenner a month, but that’s cutting right into my pocket money. That means I will be spending proportionally less at the model shop and at the local eateries. That in turn has an impact on those small businesses, who themselves are struggling with taxes. This results in price increases, and so the vicious cycle goes.

Oh, and whilst you’re at it, why not tax our broadband connections too? Now I understand why you were so keen to get everyone in the country connected.

This country sucks ass.

Taunton Town Centre Pop-Up Urinal (“Urilift”)

It’s probably been a couple of years since I first came across the pop-up urinal in the centre of Taunton. We had taken the staff out for a company night out and came face to face with a Urilift at the bottom of the High Street. I had no idea what it was, in fact at first I thought it was some sort of water fountain. It was only when I got my face closer I realised it was a urinal – wide open for everyone to see. Then, a few days later, I was stood at the same spot on the High Street and the thing had vanished. I then saw the circular shape on the paving and it dawned on me that it was a urinal that pops up out of the ground at night.

I was driving back from Minehead on Saturday night and cut across the town, and saw the urinal again, this time being used by a couple of drunk chaps, whilst a whole load of young ladies (wearing virtually nothing) walked nonchalantly by. I’m in my early thirties and I’m not a complete prude, but it astonishes me just how much times have changed since I frequented the town centre on a Saturday night, and this urinal just sums it all up.

We are a nation in moral decay. Where is the sense of decency? Why do we need to install open urinals in busy High Streets? I understand the council is trying to stop drunk revellers from slipping into a dark alley to do their business, which the following day smells awful for the shoppers, but by placing a urinal in a wide open space, they are simply condoning or even encouraging this sort of behaviour.

I wonder how effective the pop-up urinal is anyway. It seems to cater only for men, and yet there are equal numbers of drunk female louts staggering about the streets of Taunton. Are we expected to believe that the female of the species is never caught short during a night on the razz? Are we also expected to believe that chaps would prefer standing in the middle of the High Street to a secluded dark alley?

What bothers me most is that during the summer the urinal pops up during the daylight. Worse still, someone could be using it in the daylight while I drive past with my children. It is, after all, positioned right smack bang in the middle of Taunton town centre.

Taunton pop-up urinal Taunton pop-up urinal, in the ground

Three wise men? Three kings? Who were these chaps?

In the second of my mini series of short blogs about Christmas, I’m looking at the common misunderstanding of the “wise men” or “kings” that you see portrayed in every school nativity around the country.

Who or what were they?
This part of the story of the birth of Christ is found in Matthew 2:1, which in the KJV talks about “wise men” coming from the east. Other translations render the verse as “kings”. More accurate translations render the verse as “astrologers”, because indeed these men were Magi. The phrase is a Latinisation of the Greek word “magos”, which generally referred to priests of zoroastrianism, who were known for star worship and astrology.

How many where there?
The scripture doesn’t say. Commonly, people believe there were three of them because of there supposedly being three gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. However there could have been other gifts, and the quantity of each gift is not stated, so there could have been two or more Magi. We don’t know the exact number.

Peace on Earth and good will to all men

With Christmas 2009 rapidly approaching, I thought I might do a series of short posts on the various biblical inaccuracies that seem to spout forth over the festive period. This one is a classic: “peace on Earth and good will to all men”. How many times have you heard that?

It comes from Luke 2:14, which the King James Version (as per usual) mis-translates into the saying above. The early Latin texts render it: “et in terra pax hominibus, bonae voluntatis”. So, a more accurate translation would be: “peace on Earth to men of good will”. And that changes the meaning completely.

It’s a good job I’m not dieing…

I have this issue with my left wrist: it hurts. Quite a lot sometimes. Fortunately, I’m right handed, but it’s surprising how many everyday tasks set it off. Riding my motorbikes and bicycles is uncomfortable. Picking things up is very difficult. Typing can be painful.

So, after 6 weeks of enduring the discomfort and not wanting to go to the doctors (like a typical bloke), I finally snapped today.

I see my doctor very rarely. I hate going to the doctor and I hate going to hospitals – I’ve had too many bad experiences at the bungling hands of the NHS. My wife, on the other hand, must be on first name terms with her doctor  because she seems to see her every other week, either for herself or one of the kids. She usually just phones up in the morning and then goes straight in. I don’t remember ever seeing her wait for an appointment.

I just phoned my doctor’s surgery and asked for an appointment. The conversation went something like this…

S: “Hello, North Street Surgery.”
D: “Hi. Can I book an appointment with Dr. ****** today please?”
S: “Erm… [pause] no, he’s fully booked. [long pause where no further suggestions were offered]”
D: “Ooookaaaay, how about tomorrow?”
S: “No, sorry he’s fully booked… and, he’s on annual leave next week.”
D: “Right.”
S: “Is it something he could deal with in a phone call?”
D: “Probably not.”
S: “Oh.”
D: “Uhm.”
S: “Sorry.”
D: “Yes. Is there anyone else I could see?”
S: “You could phone tomorrow to see if Dr. Unpronouncable has any cancellations.”
D: “Thanks.”

Maybe I’m being picky, but the surgery didn’t really seem at all interested in my plight or getting me an appointment to see the doctor. Surely, if he can spare a few minutes to talk to me on the phone, he could talk to me in person? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge my doc his annual leave, but you might think that some common sense and planning would take place at the surgery. Given that he’s going to be off, it’s highly likely that appointments will get bunched up during his last couple of days in, and some additional cover might be useful.

I overcame my phobias and issues to phone the surgery and ask for help, and I hung up the phone with the feeling that they just couldn’t really give a toss.

I guess I’ll just add the wrist to all the other maladies that I just put up with, because the docs seem completely unable to fix any of them.

It’s a good job I’m not dieing.

UPDATE:
I phoned my wife and related my experience. She phoned the doctors and immediately got an appointment for this afternoon with her doc! What?!?!?!?!

iPhone 3G for sale

SOLD!

As I’ve moved to a Palm Pre, my Apple iPhone 3G 8Gb is available for sale. I will be putting it on eBay this weekend, but any sensible offers received prior to that will be considered.

I have the box, cables etc. – everything it came with.

The iPhone is in good condition, with some minor surface wear to the rear and a tiny hairline crack by the connector port. Not noticeable in general use. The screen and front is completely clear of scratches. Comes with a hard leather slip case.

The iPhone will be wiped to factory settings before sale.

It has OS 3.0 on it and is currently locked to the O2 network. You can get it unlocked at any O2 store if you wish to use it on Orange instead. (You can use it on other networks too, but you’ll need to check with your network on the compatibility).

Looking at eBay, these are fetching anywhere from £150 – £220. I’ll take less than that. Make me an offer using the comments box below (if you can’t see a comments box, click on the title of this post and then scroll down), or email me at davidhurst dot co dot uk.

Microsoft Staff Living in Dream Land

I just spotted this quote from Simon Aldous, Partner Group Manager at Microsoft, on the BBC News website:

“What we’ve tried to do with Windows 7 – whether it’s traditional format or in a touch format – is create a Mac look and feel in terms of graphics. We’ve significantly improved the graphical user interface, but it’s built on that very stable core Vista technology, which is far more stable than the current Mac platform, for instance.”

Uhm gosh. Stop the press. Microsoft copying Apple? Nothing new there at all. All these companies copy each other all the time. Apple copy others too.

But, is he serious – Vista more stable than OS X?

Which planet are you living on Mr Aldous?!

Vista is a dog horrible operating system and there’s no way anybody is going to believe it’s more stable than the highly secure UNIX-based OS X.

Unsurprisingly, Microsoft are distancing themselves from the comments. The guy clearly doesn’t have a clue.

The most annoying adverts on TV

We all have our favourite TV commercials, and we all have those that we hate. The kind of TV commercials that have you diving for the remote or running out of the room screaming. These companies should not be allowed to get away with it, so in the interests of humanity I’m listing a few of my pet hate TV adverts here. Add your own to the list using the comments feature below.

So without further ado, here are the contenders:

Go Compare
I HATE these adverts. The tune is so annoying it has me rushing for the knife drawer in the kitchen so that I can hack my ears off and cease the appalling pain. No doubt the geniuses in the marketing department at Go Compare believe that a tune that stays in your head all day is the same as a “catchy tune”. No, it’s not. They have no right to invade my headspace with their mindless drivel and I will now go out of my way to never use their insurance comparison service.

We Buy Any Car
Another advert with a ridiculously annoying tune. Frankly though, I find the advert just as insulting as all those “send us your mobile and we’ll send you a cheque” adverts. I am not fooled. I do not believe for one second that I would ever get anything approaching a reasonable price for my car by selling it to this lot. Frankly their advert hardly inspires confidence in their professionalism.

Any of the plethora of commercials featuring the song “Here Come the Girls”
Possibly the most overused piece of feminist drivel in commercial TV history. It annoys the hell out of me and it annoys the hell out of my wife. The current offender is Boots, who have jumped upon the bandwagon of spewing out “female solidarity” instead of actually bothering to properly market their products. Are women really that stupid? I don’t think so. Change the tune.

Marks & Spencer Food
This is not just bread, it’s traditional farmhouse bread made from the finest flour milled by Polynesian nurse maids and filtered through the digestive tracts of endangered sloths… No. It’s bread with a ludicrous price tag.

Not making enough profit from your food? Film it in slow motion, get out your thesaurus and make sure the voiceover artist is in some sort of orgasmic climax. I’d rather chew off my own testicles than shop for pretentious, overpriced food at Marks and Spencer. The one occasion I bought Marks and Spencer food (because it was late and I was at a motorway services and it was the only place open), it was a sandwich and I couldn’t finish it. It was so dry and tasteless. If they can’t even get a sandwich right, there’s probably little chance of them doing anything else. Hence the adverts I suppose.

So, there’s four of my TV commercial pet hates. What are yours?

Have you ever been unfairly dismissed?

I have been sacked twice in my life. Both times, I didn’t deserve it but I did nothing about it on either occasion and have let it fester in my mind ever since. Today was one of those days when I remembered how I had been mistreated and this time I decided I would do something about it – blog it. Whether this post has any use for anybody I don’t know, but feel free to comment your own experiences below. We can all have a grumble together. How very British!

The first time I got sacked was when I was 14 and the job in question was a paper round. Hardly something I could take to an employment tribunal I know, but it still stung nonetheless.

I quite enjoyed my round, the money was OK and the Christmas tips were excellent because most of my round was council estates. I had previously done a round of much more expensive dwellings in the countryside and received almost no tips. Certainly it’s true that the working class share what little they have whereas the upper class hold on tight to what they’ve got. I digress. The problem came when I broke my leg. It was quite a bad break and I spent a few days in hospital and had a minor operation as a result. This was followed by about 10 weeks in plaster. Obviously, this injury precluded me from being able to do my round, so I phoned the paper shop I worked for to tell them. I was wished a speedy recovery and thought nothing more of it.

When my leg healed and I was ready to resume my morning round, I phoned the shop again to let them know I could restart and was told to come in the following Monday. Now that I look back, there was probably some surprise in the voice of the lady in the shop, but being young and innocent at the time it didn’t really register. The shop was owned by a chap and his daughter and prior to this experience they had always been pleasant enough. When I went back to start the paper round again she was definitely off with me and I put it down to me leaving them in the lurch by being off for so long.

After about a week back on the job, I was introduced to another boy one morning who I was to take on my round and show him the ropes. I was told that he would be a cover boy for the days when any of the regular boys and girls were ill, so he was learning all the rounds. He was with me for a few mornings, during which time I ascertained that he was related to the owners of the shop. Then, one day after completing the round as usual the lady (I use the term loosely) in the shop phoned me to “let me go”. I asked why, and she responded that there had been lots of complaints of papers not being received. I knew this to be a complete falicy. I was conscientious in my work and did my round efficiently, quickly and accurately. But what do you do? I was 14. I didn’t have a clue what to say and I was already panicking about what to tell my parents. Sure enough, they weren’t happy at all, and Dad was so unhappy with the feable explanation given that he phoned the owner of the shop, who proceeded to tell him that I looked “half asleep” when I came in the shop in the morning and that because of this he had concluded that I was “on drugs”. My Dad then proceeded to grill me on where my “stash” was. I had to start work at 6am, of course I was tired! But drugs? What a horrible thing to say!

Of course it’s completely obvious what happened. The boy I had to show round was none other than the boy that my round had been given to, because they never expected me to return to work. When I did, they simply engineered a way out of it, slandering me in the process and ruining my relationship with my father. I think the word we are looking for here is “arseholes”.

After I left school, and more by accident than choice, I ended up working for a double glazing company as a canvasser. I worked there with two of my friends, Andy and Chris, and we spent many happy days walking the streets of Somerset having a laugh and getting paid for it. The money wasn’t great. £50 per week plus 2% commission on any sales that resulted from our leads. This equated to about £12k per annum, which back in 1995 was a reasonable wage for a 16 year old. We all wanted to be proper salesmen though and actually sell the product rather than get the leads. Salesmen were self-employed and paid commission only at 10% of the sale. We could see how much the other guys were earning and we wanted a slice of the action. So, when we turned 17 we all started driving lessons. Chris took his test and failed. I passed. I was given the opportunity to step up and I took it.

I sold the first 4 leads I went on, which included one order for about £12,000. I think that I was being indulged up until this point, but when I started consistently selling better than 1 in 3, the company took notice. I was the blue eyed boy. It wasn’t to last though. Good salesmen get given increasingly crap leads in the hope that they will be able to turn them around. I wasn’t happy working so hard for very low returns, when others were being given real opportunities that they failed to close. I was also fed up with the canvassing side of things. Whereas previously the three of us canvassers were ferried about by the owner’s son (also a salesman) and one of his friends who had come to work for the company, as soon as I could drive, I became the canvassers’ taxi service. And whereas the other salesmen’s reward had been the leads we canvassers obtained for them, I was expected to canvass and get my own leads, whilst Chris and Andy’s were given to the other salesmen. Remember that I was self employed, therefore I had to buy all my own petrol. Further, I then found that the factory manager (a brother of the owner) was visiting my leads to survey them for window fabrication, and was selling extra stuff (i.e. fascia boards) without giving me any of the commission.

Clearly this could not continue, so I went for an interview with a rival Bridgwater based double glazing firm that our sales manager had moved to previously. I was foolish enough to discuss this one day with Andy, along with airing my general grievances, and he went straight to tell the owner’s son.

The following day I was called into the boardroom along with Chris, Andy and the other salesman. The owner’s son then proceeded to repeat some of the things I had said in confidence to Andy to embarras me. He questioned me about my going to see the other company, then made some comment about confidentiality (I had certainly not breached any confidentiality, and it is everyone’s right to attend a job interview) and sacked me in front of everyone. Of course, the reality is that my contract of employment to which he referred had been made when I was actually an employee and not a self-employed contractor.

He told me to empty my “company car”. This wasn’t a company car, because I paid for 100% of it at £50 per week. This for a Nissan Micra that had 70,000 miles on the clock. I was being ripped off but I was too naive to know it.

He refused to let me use the office phone to arrange a lift. My mobile wasn’t working properly, and he didn’t believe me obviously. I walked 3 miles down the road to find a telephone box. When I got back, my stuff had been thrown out of the car and was blowing around the compound – this included my suit jacket which was ruined as a result. Later, I discovered that my mobile phone had been vandalised.

The number of laws that were broken in this whole episode beggars belief. My rights were trampled all over. I just saw it as a huge relief. The family are Italian and frankly it felt a lot like some sort of mafia outfit. I was glad to leave and get on with my life without being kneecapped.

I finally pursued my career as a programmer, something I had always wanted to do, and never looked back. I don’t regret doing a sales job, because that has been hugely beneficial to my business efforts over the years, but I do regret ever getting involved with that particular company.

Being dismissed from a company sucks, but when it’s totally unfair or even illegal it sucks even more. Don’t just take it like I did whatever you do.

Twix – free tea with every pack

This has to be the lamest prize giveaway/competition/inducement to purchase I’ve ever seen. Buy a Twix, get a free cup of tea. What does a cup of tea cost? 3p? If you don’t have milk, it’s even less.

OK, you do get to go and redeem your cuppa at a participating tea shop, and maybe this appeals to some people, but not me. I make my tea perfectly – just the way I like it. It’s not like coffee is it? You can’t make a great cup of coffee without all the kit, so it’s worth going to a coffee shop, but tea? All I need is a good quality tea bag and some boiling water.

Have I missed the point?

Certainly, it’s not making me buy more Twix.