Archive for category Motoring

The Stig - the (not so) great unveiling

I enjoy watching Top Gear. Not as much as I used to true, but that has more to do with the retarded pre-pubescent humour than Mr Stig being unveiled. Frankly, the news coverage of this underwhelming event has been way too excessive. I mean, come on… we all knew that there was a guy under the helmet, and many would have had a reasonable stab at guessing his identity. Clearly, it had to be someone with racing experience (and probably not a huge amount of success if he has time to show up at the Top Gear test track throughout the year), so finding out that it is former Formula 3 driver and movie stuntman Ben Collins is hardly a shock.

Nor is it a shock that the BBC should have sought an injunction to prevent the disclosure of Stig’s identity. “The Stig” is not the same as Ben Collins the man. Rather, “The Stig” is a character and the intellectual property of the BBC (and its license payers), and Mr Collins presumably agreed to play along with the secrecy element of the character. The BBC should not be prevented from protecting its assets, provided such preventative action is sensibly priced and with good cause, simply because it is license payer funded.

All that said, I don’t really think this is as much of a disaster as Top Gear’s Andy Wilman asserted in his recent blog post. As he put it himself:

“Everyone who’s ever worked on Top Gear has kept the Stig thing a secret, and the person who wears the suit has signed confidentiality agreements to do the same. So talk about what you like in your own life, but not the bit you agreed not to. Your word is supposed to mean something.”

So where exactly is the problem? Mr Collins has surely breached contract, therefore the contract is at an end. It is time for white suited Stig to be shot off the end of an aircraft carrier in a knackered old Jag, and for a new Stig to arrive in a new colour suit (red or silver maybe?). The Top Gear viewers will love it! In fact, Ben Collins has just written half an episode of the new series for you, and generated huge amounts of publicity for the show.

Really, whilst it must be hugely irritating for the TG team, everybody wins. Ben and his publishers HarperCollins may well be cashing in the BBC’s IP, but the BBC has the opportunity to re-invigorate the show with a new Stig and move on… until the new Stig decides to publish his memoirs that is.

Now, regarding the new Stig - my suggestion would have to be Valentino Rossi, if you can tempt him away from Ducati and stop him doodling on the helmet of course…

No Comments

B Road - what does the ‘B’ stand for? Bumpy? Broken? Bad?

Regular readers of my blog will know that I am a keen motorcyclist, and there’s nothing we motorcyclists like more than a far-reaching ribbon of ultra smooth tarmac. Britain has some amazing rural routes with lovely bends and fabulous scenery, but it doesn’t have too much of the aforementioned high quality roads. Indeed, our rural B roads are only resurfaced on average every 79 years. This is just about twice as long as the recommended resurfacing interval of 40 years. In fact, our road network is now in need of a whopping £8.5billion spend just to bring the road surfaces up to a minimum standard.

This is hardly just an issue affecting bikers. Poor road surfaces increase the dangers to all road users and increase the damage inflicted upon our vehicles. Sadly, the powers that be choose to spend their time and money focusing on speed limit reductions and enforcement that have no discernable impact on road safety. Even as we speak, there is a campaign afoot to reduce the speed limit on rural roads to 50mph. Given that the majority of road traffic accidents on rural roads occur at speeds below 50mph or above 60mph, this change will make no difference to accident statistics. Rural roads will likely be difficult to police anyway, unless (as I suspect) the change is just an excuse to bang up a load more speed cameras. All this limit change will do is cost money and ruin our landscape. At the moment rural roads are by default set at National Speed Limit (60mph for car or motorbike), whereas if they are set at 50mph, there will need to be vast numbers of speed limit signs installed. This represents a vast expense and an unnecessary blight on our beautiful countryside. In most cases, the roads themselves dictate the naturally safe speed limit and this is often well below 60mph.

The Asphalt Industry Alliance (AIA) believes there to be more than 1.5million potholes in need of repair on UK roads. This figure has been dramatically affected by the recent cold weather, and is only likely to increase as winters become more extreme, and funding for road maintenance continues to be cut. As with many things in life, prevention is far cheaper than the cure. This is certainly true in the case of road re-surfacing, where basic re-surfacing costs about £14 per square metre, whereas full reconstruction costs a whopping £70.

How much does the government net from road tax? £47billion! More than enough to maintain our road networks in exemplary condition and vastly reduce the number of road deaths and accidents as a result. The problem of course is that most of this money goes nowhere near the roads.

When will you sit up and take notice of the sad state of neglect of our rural roads? Will it be before you round that corner on your bike only to be met with a giant pothole that sends you and your bike sliding down the road or into oncoming traffic? Will it be before you hit that broken surface in your car and are unable to brake effectively causing a collision with another road user?

Why is the transport network so low on the agenda?

2 Comments

Roadside memorials - at what point should the line be drawn?

One of the sad downsides to the wonders of the combustion engine is the number of road deaths that occur each year in the UK. Whilst the figure could be reduced if the British Government stopped propagating spin and misleading facts about the causes of road accidents (all in support of their cash machine speed camera policy), there will always be a small percentage of road users that wind up dead.

Along with the increase in road deaths, I’ve also noticed a growing trend for relatives to make little roadside memorials for their dearly departed. Many of these are fairly dignified affairs with a photo of their loved one(s) and a few flowers, and many are removed after a month or two. Others seem to linger and expand.

There’s a classic example of this on the A3088 just outside Yeovil that I pass regularly, and over the last two years I have watched it grow from a fairly modest photo + flowers setup, to a full-on multi-coloured shrine. The grass around it is mown, flowers are regularly tended, photographs are attached to a tree and a rockery seems to have appeared upon which are placed various objects and toys.

I make my comments as an outside observer, and mean no disrespect to the deceased or his family and friends. Losing a loved one is an impossible thing to bear, and I do feel for all involved.

That said, the shrine that is so lovingly tended by the relatives is surely built upon land owned by the Highways Agency (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong here anybody)? Does this mean that I can go and erect any structure of my choosing next to an A road? Perhaps a nice pergola with some vines and a bench? I doubt it.

I imagine it would take a very brave person at the local council to remove the shrine - the local press would revel in the sickly sentimentality and jump at the opportunity to have a go at the powers that be over a “sensitive issue”.

So, I wonder where it will stop. Will our nation’s roadsides become festooned with rockeries, gardens and mini photo galleries? Surely, gardens of remembrance and shrines do not need to be built on the actual site of the accident? Where should we draw the line between what constitutes an acceptable roadside memorial and what doesn’t?

Perhaps it would be better if the shrine didn’t have to be built in the first place. Road safety is not solely a speed issue as the Government would try and have us believe, and the sooner they stop their ludicrously blinkered approach, the sooner roadside shrines would become fewer.

2 Comments

Re-discovering my love for motorcycling

For a long time I was completely nuts about bikes, but following the sale of my beloved Exup (which I just couldn’t ride any more due to pain in my knees), a rotten experience buying a new Honda (something I will blog about another day), and a completely useless summer, my enthusiasm for motorcycling had waned somewhat.

At the end of July this year I rode my Suzuki TL1000S up to Bristol and got caught in a typical British summer monsoon. The rain did the bike no favours and it was a truly miserable experience, made even worse when the rear damper failed leaving me with a very springy back end for the 40 mile ride home. I shoved the TL into a corner of my garage in disgust and there it remained until a few weeks ago. I finally got a replacement damper unit and with the help of a friend who is a mechanic, got the old one out and a new one in. I washed the bike and set off for a quick spin and duly came back a couple of hours later with a massive grin on my face and a re-ignited passion for motorcycling.

Why should the TL1000S be the igniter of such passion, when it is a bike widely regarded as being deficient. It has something of a (probably well earned) reputation for being a “widow maker”, and it can be a complete swine to ride. Let’s analyze the bike for a few moments…

Looks
The way a bike looks is a huge factor in how much you enjoy a machine. I had a SV650S as my first bike, which was a fabulous ride, but it looked horrible and I could never get past that. The TL is not quite so ugly as its newer little brother, but it’s no Ducati 1098! So, it’s probably not the look of the machine that excites, though mine is the rarer green colour, has the fairing lowers, beautiful gold and silver wheels and blue titanium cans, all of which adds up to a good looking bike.

Costs & Reliability
The TL is a complete pain in the wallet. It’ll barely scrape 100 miles on a full tank, and due to the savage torque, it munches through rear tyres and drive chains for a pastime. I have had the thing apart more times than I care to remember, but oddly I think this has a lot to do with it. When you have sweated over the machine like I have, you and it become entwined in a strange human - machine love affair.

Handling
The handling is woeful. The heavy steering damper (retro-fitted by Suzuki after a large number of TL riders complained about how dead they were after nasty tank slappers) makes the steering feel anything but nimble, and the 190 section rear tyre doesn’t help. It certainly doesn’t handle anything like as good as my Exup did, but for me this is half the fun! Where’s the challenge in riding a bike that just goes where you point it? If there’s no challenge, then there’s no sense of reward. My Honda CB1300 is eminently capable, but I don’t get off it feeling invigorated at all. With the TL, you have to hang your arse over the side of the bike and wrestle it around tight bends, and that is huge fun!

Engine
Here’s the main attraction. Never has Suzuki built a more exciting engine. This is a snarling beast with savage acceleration and ludicrous amounts of torque. Breathing through some aftermarket cans as my TL does, the noise is a fairly close approximation of the commencement of Armageddon. A good twist of throttle in any gear sees you heading for the horizon as though your life depended upon it. No other bike I have owned or ridden has the same instant response. There’s no hanging about for 4 cylinder wind up to peak power, just an immediate kick up the backside. In fact, despite the power figures of the 90 degree v-twin seeming rather modest in comparison to modern sports bikes, the reality is that it’s all about the way the power is delivered. The Suzuki TL delivers its power much like a girder swung in the face, and I’m not convinced there’s many bikes that could match it on the road.

Conclusion
There’s nothing like the feeling of imminent death to keep a ride exciting, but whilst the TL delivers that feeling in spades, you also know that it is a competent machine and providing you stick within sensible limits, you’ll be going home in one piece every time.

Basically, this is a flawed bike. It always was, and Suzuki knew that, but in building something with flaws they inadvertently bestowed something else upon the bike: soul and character. The TL feels like a living, breathing thing. It’s not perfect and it doesn’t always work the way it should. It’s a complete git to ride in slow moving traffic and it’s pretty damn uncomfortable, but all this can be forgiven it, because when you open that throttle and slingshot towards the vanishing point in a melee of noise and vibration, you will be smiling from ear to ear, feeling truly alive.

That’s why the TL1000S is the perfect bike to re-discover your love for motorcycling.

No Comments

Community Speedwatch - local heroes or misguided do-gooders?

The sky is blue, the sun is shining and England’s fine green land beckons the motorist. What’s not to love? Leafy lanes, hedgerows thick with ripe brambles, a picturesque village complete with thatched pub and high-vis jacket clad residents wobbling a handheld radar gun in your general direction. Welcome to modern England, where it is apparently acceptable for one’s peers to stand in judgement of one’s actions without any crime having been committed or indeed any charges brought.

According to the Community Speedwatch website: “Community Speed Watch is a scheme to help people reduce speeding traffic though their community. The scheme enables volunteers to work within their community to raise awareness of the dangers of speeding and to help control the problem locally.

The use of the radar devices will not lead to prosecution - drivers will get a letter from the police instead - but will help to underline the community’s commitment to reducing speed.”

I’ve never found myself in receipt of any Community Speedwatch letters, though I think if I were to receive one I would be more likely to consign it immediately to the recycling box than allow it to have any impact on my driving. I am a safe driver thanks to skills that I have honed over the past 14 years and the more than a quarter of a million miles I’ve covered in all types of vehicles, in this country and abroad. No doubt such a stance will get right up the nose of the kind of busybody that feels it is their community duty to spy on others, but it is based on cold simple facts.

The aforementioned website has the title “Speed or Safety: Slow Down for Life”. This makes no sense whatsoever in the real world and is typical of Government propaganda and boolean logic that has no place in sensible policies. Bizarrely though, despite knowing that the Government and many of the members of Parliament are corrupt liars (as is frequently exposed in the media), some people insist on believing all the spun statistics they’re fed, rather than actually doing some research and reading some real impartial and proper statistical reports on excessive speed and road safety. But why let the facts get in the way of an opportunity for jumped up self-importance?

Here are 12 things off the top of my head that a radar gun manhandled by a volunteer cannot do:

  1. Identify a vehicle being driven at speeds inappropriate for the road, weather or traffic conditions, when said speeds are below a prescribed limit.
  2. Identify prolific speeders (who slow down for speed traps and then speed up again immediately after).
  3. Identify a stolen car.
  4. Identify a driver that is drunk.
  5. Identify a driver that is high on drugs.
  6. Identify a driver that does not have a license.
  7. Identify a driver that has no insurance.
  8. Identify a vehicle that has no current road fund license.
  9. Identify a vehicle that has no current MoT certificate.
  10. Identify a vehicle in an unfit condition for use on public roads.
  11. Identify a driver failing to concentrate on the road (e.g. using a mobile phone).
  12. Identify a vehicle that has been used in a crime.

Here is 1 thing that it can do, assuming that it has been correctly calibrated and that the individual using the radar gun has received sufficient training in its use:

  1. Determine the speed of an oncoming vehicle within a given error margin.

Frankly, the same can be said of any automated speed trap also - especially speed cameras. These kind of traps only seem to catch drivers who have a lapse in concentration. A prolific speeder would be most unlikely to be caught out by speed traps, particularly when most sat nav units feature speed camera and trap locations. Regular speeders will most likely have a Snooper installed as well.

Road deaths which were in decline until the introduction of the speed camera policy in the UK, are now on the increase. Any perceived safety benefits are usually negated by the Government’s spin doctors’ deliberate omission of standard statistical considerations such as annual deviation and regression to the mean.

Clearly, a toothless standard warning letter from the police is always going to be preferable to a fixed penalty notice issued by your local scamera partnership. Heck, we pay enough tax for our cars already, without having to donate to the Chief Constable’s pension plan every time we choose to watch the road instead of driving along with our eyes glued to our speedometers. Still, I object to the whole idea of people (usually retirees with too much time on their hands and probably less driving experience than half the people they point their radar at) waving their radar gun at me, and more unbelievably, their camcorders! I haven’t found anything on the Community Speedwatch that says a video camera should be used. This is nothing more than voyeurism.  These volunteers most certainly do not have a right to spy upon my family or I as we go about our private business.

The value these people bring to the community and the public in general is negligable. We need real, properly trained police offers to solve our road safety issues. Let’s not forget that only a tiny proportion of road accidents are actually attributed to excessive speed, despite what the pro-speed camera lobby would have you believe. Go and read the actual accident data people and WAKE UP!

If you want drivers to be more safe on the roads, make the driving test more difficult and introduce a scheme of regular re-testing to maintain standards. And, if you are someone with too much time on your hands, remember that there are so many great volunteer programmes that bring true benefit to communities - why not invest your time in a more worthy cause?

2 Comments