David Hurst

Over the past couple of weeks I have been noticing flyers advertising Haynes Motor Museum littering the public highways around Yeovil. In particular, the flyers announce the presence of Roary the Racing Car at Haynes Museum on the 17th August. For those of you that don’t have kids (or don’t secretly watch kids TV whilst skiving off work with [insert life-threatening ailment here]), Roary the Racing Car is an animated TV show for kids. It features the vocal talents of Peter Kay as “Big Chris”, and an assortment of car characters that race around the “Silver Hatch” race track.

So, when an opportunity presents itself to take your not-quite-three-year-old son to meet some of his fave telly heros, as a responsible and loving parent you surely have the obligation to grasp said opportunity. I’m not sure what I was expecting - the posters weren’t particularly helpful, and nor was the website. A small printed notice at the museum entrance informed us that Big Chris and Roary were not performing a show, but were making “appearances” throughout the day. The notice was suitably ambiguous so as not to deter any parting with cash, and we duly paid our entrance fee. Haynes, obviously keen to capitalise on the money making opportunities of the day, had lowered the child ticket age threshold to 1 - i.e. all children aged one or over had to pay. There’s nothing quite like profiteering from babies is there?

As it transpired, the day was completely lacking in anything approaching organisation, as frustrated parents filled the museum waiting in a queue so their precious darlings could spend 30 seconds shaking hands with some bloke (or blokette) dressed in a furry Big Chris costume, whilst “Roary” sat there and rolled his mechanical eyes. In fact we queued for 70 minutes (during which entire time the 30 second theme tune was playing in a loop through some very tinny speakers), getting hot, sweaty and irritable, so our son could get his 30 seconds, and we could get some photographic proof of the event so that we would have something to show for our time. We got lucky, as Big Chris could only manage 40 minutes between cups of tea, and clearly the promotions company putting on the (non)show would not stretch their budget to a second Big Chris to fill in the Health and Safety gaps. The people behind us were not so lucky, and the general atmosphere was degenerating quickly into that of a linch mob, so camera and photos grasped firmly in hand, we left in a hurry.

I’m sure Haynes can do better than this. I certainly won’t be planning to go visit Bob the Builder or whatever else they choose to put on.

The highlight of the trip for me was the Ferrari Enzo on display in the supercars room (along with an XJ220, a McLaren GTR and a Ferrari F40). I managed to take some reasonable pictures of the big red beauty in between the kids running past, touching the car, and even sitting on the bonnet! The parents of said darlings walking past too, blissfully unaware of me trying to take my photo, and the fact that their kids were perched in their jeans on the paintwork of an irreplaceable piece of automotive history worth 700 grand. “Oooh that’s a nice one isn’t it?”