David Hurst

I need to fuel my car, but I can’t. I have enough fuel to get to my job this afternoon, and then I’m stuck. How can this be? As I understand it, it’s only Shell’s delivery drivers that are on strike, and yet the BP and Texaco stations are out of fuel. Shell amounts to between 10% and 17% of the UK supply. Fuel stations typically can last about 4 days on a delivery, and the drivers are striking for 4 days. At best, there should only have been some minor temporary shortages at Shell filling stations.

So why can I not fill my car today? Simple. I can’t buy any petrol because of all the morons who get panicky and go and fill their cars up when they don’t need to. Petrol panic buying was inevitable, as soon as the news stations started saying “if nobody panic buys, then we’ll be fine”. To the average dim-witted moronic UK driver this translates as: “fill up your car as fast as you can… and as many jerry cans as you can find too!”. Most of these pig-ignorant plebs don’t even use their cars. Driving past a petrol station in Taunton on Friday night, as the panic set in, there was a high percentage of older people filling up. The kind of people that use their unfeasibly shiny Fiesta (complete with tartan blanket on parcel shelf) to get to ASDA once per week. They can probably last a whole year on one tank of fuel, but thanks to their greed, I am immobilised.

I thought I was being a responsible citizen, showing due care and consideration for the welfare of others, but this is clearly a flawed perspective. Most people seem to be operating on a me first, me again second, and if there’s any left… that’ll be me please, policy, and there’s just no way to contend with that by doing the right thing.

So, I will wait patiently for the fuel trucks to arrive, then I shall fill up every vehicle I own, and a few gallons worth of fuel cans besides. By creating my own personal petroleum stock pile and generally sticking two fingers up at everyone else, regardless of their need, I too can join the ranks of inconsiderate warts on the anus of humanity, but at least I’ll be mobile.

And of course, the petrol retailers will cash in on this opportunity to fleece the motorist a bit more. Frankly, if a gnat farts somewhere in the vicinity of the petrol supply chain, we end up with another 2p on every litre. All around us, the green campaigners claim that our cars are destroying the planet, and that oil reserves are drying up. Utter nonsense. Cars are a small percentage of UK pollution, and there is plenty of oil left. Oil companies only have the ability to harvest a small percentage of the oil in the wells they discover - the vast majority of it remains.

The motorist in the UK is a soft target, and it’s easy to see why. The kind of people that panic buy petrol when they don’t need it, are either greedy or stupid (or both), and neither category is particularly likely to stand up and protest. Oil is an essential requirement for UK businesses and families, much like food. If there was a famine, would anyone tolerate paying more than 50% tax on their food? Hardly.

WAKE UP!